first love

First thing you said when it was really over was “I guess it’s kinda bittersweet”

I agreed but I didn’t feel it until I learned from our mistakes

There’s so many of them, that we both built

Blame games & mind games 

So many words said & So many words unsaid

For so many reasons

With that said, know your lips are missed

But your tongue has a hiss..

Red lights, back roads, silent homes, early mornings, afternoons filled with music

My guitar is stained with every chord you played me

I still remember the song you wrote

You know so much

I wish you knew how much I knew, even what you don’t want me to

You say one day you won’t let me move on

You’ll haunt me & whoevers next

& your demon…………….

God I wish he wasn’t there

& I wish I was making this up

& i wish it wasn’t so fucked up

& I wish I didn’t feel your presence as often as I do

But it is what it is & I’m way past the point of acceptance

I don’t even wanna taste an oz of love 

Unless its from myself

& this isn’t to be sad & certainly not cute

I just really needed to say a few things

But baby this was just an adventure, & it has its battle scars

Spartan vs Persia

You cut I cut remember?

Somethings just need to be ruined & demolished

To make space for anew or to make room for a restart

Just know that I don’t love you, but I always will

Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest